Okay, you may be thinking to yourself did I just cuss. No, I know people don’t really want to talk about it, but this is an area I feel I really need to write about.
For many years, like many young women I have struggled with the concept of singleness. I mean we see movies all the time where as women we are always like: #RelationshipGoals
We are currently smack dab in the middle of a generation that has allowed themselves to be so wrapped into social media to the point where they are allowing themselves to be defined by the latest meme they have seen on social media or envying a marriage such as the Royal Wedding which has recently taken place.
Without thinking twice we are caught up in what is happening in the lives of others and comparing our lives to the lives of people who we most times don’t even know. I read a quote by Theodore Roosevelt which says: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” We want to be married because we think it would be so cute to have a relationship and someone you can just talk to. Or maybe you want to be like that one single sister you see who is living it up right now. She’s traveling and seeing the world without a man and is building her own life. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows for the sister who is married and is longing and wishing she was single again because now she has to take on responsibilities for both her and her husband.
But each one must carefully scrutinize his own work [examining his actions, attitudes, and behavior], and then he can have the personal satisfaction and inner joy of doing something commendable without comparing himself to another. For every person will have to bear [with patience] his own burden [of faults and shortcomings for which he alone is responsible].
The one who is taught the word [of God] is to share all good things with his teacher [contributing to his spiritual and material support].
In my own life I have been that sister who was wishing she was in a relationship so bad. Wanting to just pour out or dump everything going on in my life into someone else’s lap. This isn’t you? Are you sure? Regardless of if this has been you or not, I have been the person comparing my own life to the lives of others countless times, wishing it was me. Countless times I have simply wanted a relationship with someone just because it sounds good or it may look good on paper. Sis, there is so much more to a relationship than that. This is the one area I have struggled in for YEARS! When I say YEARS I really mean that thing. I am being 100% completely transparent in saying that I have a hard time not looking at a man and just wondering, “You know Lord, I wouldn’t be mad if you decide to make him my man.” TRIFLING RIGHT! Ugh, trust me I’m not satisfied with myself either.
I was sitting in my bed and I looked over the cover of my copy of Brave by Faith by Juliette Bush. Instantly what came to my mind was the song from Aladdin, A Whole New World. How many times do we as women sit back and want the Lord to grace us with this amazing man so that he can show us the world? Sis, I don’t know about you, but we have to get to a place where we allow God to show us the world. It’s His desire for us. We think that life starts once we get the “man of our dreams.” I reflect on my time in Bible College and on my trip to Atlanta and Baltimore that I actually came back from today. When you give God your single life, allow Him to show you the world. One of the desires of my heart has always been to travel. Since 2016 when I first went to Bible College, I’ve been doing just that. Each time I have traveled to somewhere other than where I live, I take in the scenery and everything else around me. God literally began to show me a new world other than my own. It’s breathtaking. Now I haven’t traveled the world, but the few places I have been I count to be an honor and a privilege. Sis, take advantage of this time and this moment. If you are single focus on this time with your heavenly Father. He will take you on a journey that no man can take you on. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.”
What relationship goal have you defined yourself by or maybe what do you compare your current relationship to? I have spent a long time defining myself by the relationship goals of this world, forgetting about my heavenly Father. The one who created me, and the one who loved me first. One saying I will never forget from Bible College was, “Get boo’ed up with your Bible.” If you find it hard to do that at times, trust me when I say it’s a process for me sometimes. I don’t have it together by any means, but I am learning. This world can’t teach us how to have a relationship with our future spouse because every relationship is different, and one thing that breaks my heart is this generation does not know how to truly enter into a Godly relationship. I myself do not even know. When the time comes for me to be in a relationship, I am learning to trust God. I am believing that He will show me when it is time and that He will show me how to best handle it. This is as long as I focus on my #RelationshipGoals with Him. What are your #RelationshipGoals with God in this season of your life. The Bible says to write the vision and make it plain. A few of mine would be:
- Learning to trust God
- Learning to fall in love with my time with Him
- Desiring His presence more than anything else in this world
Sis, God has so much to offer you during this single season of your life. One of the biggest things you can do in this season is learn to SERVE!
1 Corinthians 7:34
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world–how she can please her husband.
Get BUSY! Put your hand to the plow!
Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
Don’t look back and envy what your sister has because you may not yourself be ready for her portion, but keep your focus forward and wait on God. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). If you’re like me and maybe there really isn’t a place in you local church for you to serve right now, there are plenty outside resources to look toward that are always looking for volunteers. Check out non-profits in your local community. Wait on God in this single season of your life. Let Him show you the world from His eyes.
First time I had traveled when I was in Bible College to a dance competition in Tennessee. Such an amazing season that I would have never thought I would have the opportunity to be part of.